Christmas carols, the smell of pine and the sight of snowflakes falling gently to the ground all remind me of when Christmas was a time of wonder. As I look back, I’m saddened to see that it has lost its magic. I miss the feeling of anticipation that kept me awake on Christmas eve. I could hardly contain myself when I awoke on Christmas morning and ran down the stairs to the living room. The surprises in the stockings and the presents under the tree had me spellbound and opening presents was a joyous occasion, especially when I had been waiting for them since Fall. The gifts would invariably provide entertainment for the rest of the vacation.
Nowadays, I take a week off from work, so by the time I get home, Christmas is a few days away. I have a hard time getting into the spirit of the holidays, having to complete all my shopping in a day or two. As I’ve gotten older, I can now buy things that I need or want throughout the year, so Christmas is no longer a means of acquiring things I can’t afford. Gifts are usually practical items that don’t provide a great deal of entertainment. They’re certainly not the type of gift you ask for months in advance, counting the days until you receive it.
Except for a few fleeting moments of nostalgia, I just don’t feel it anymore. At the risk of being labelled a miserly old scrooge, I consider a Christmas tree an inconvenient fire hazard that isn’t worth the trouble. My childhood self would probably have given me a kick in the shins for saying that.
I remember feeling the excitement slowly diminishing in my teenage years, like an ice cube in my hand on a hot day. Now that it has all but melted, I know that I couldn’t have held onto it even if I had tried. All I can think of to rekindle the feelings I miss is to have children. If I can help them to experience the excitement of Christmas, the excitement may spill over, allowing me to enjoy its magic once more.
In spite of these ramblings about losing the joy of Christmas, I’d like to wish everyone Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings. May you be with friends and family this holiday season.