no spanking or scolding

Verbal abuse could be as harmful as beating, according to new Danish research.


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  1. I don’t hit my kids but I do shout at them.But it doesn’t work.They just sit there and laugh at me.They will laugh until I start laughing.My kids are good and evil.The evil part is making me laugh at them when they do

    Comment by Tammie on October 3, 2002 @ 6:53 am
  2. When I was nineteen, I gave birth to my daughter. When she was two, I divorced her father for no real reason except that he was poor and had an even cheaper education. I always resented my daughter for being his child. I made a huge mistake when I alowd my boyfriend of only two years to spank and discipline my child. Then I followed him to Texas where we presently live. I knew she didn’t like him, and she showed severe signs of depression and social anxiety, and is very paranoid about any adult men. Six years later, after still being with my boyfriend and the abuse continuing, he dumped me and moved to Georgia. Now, at age 12, she hates me because of taking her away from her father at age five, and because of not helping or caring for her, and she avoids me whenever possible. I fear that she will turn out like me, seeing a therapist weekly and taking craploads of painkillers. I wish I hadnt been so stupid. Its too late now, but I want to make it up to her. But how?

    Comment by Melissa Hart on January 9, 2003 @ 10:09 pm
  3. Melissa,

    I don’t have children, so I may not know what I’m talking about. However, I was once a child, so I’ll give you my opinion. One of the most important things for a child is to know that they’re loved. Many parents try to show their love through gifts or toys, but those don’t last. The best thing you can do for your daughter is to tell her you love her on a daily basis and back that up with quality time. Get to know her, spend time getting to know what she’s concerned about at school or what she hopes to do when she gets older. By doing that, you’ll show her that you care deeply for her well-being, making it easier for her to forget the mistakes of the past.

    Comment by dan on January 10, 2003 @ 10:05 am
  4. I do spank my child when they do wrong. If I scold them, it does not work, so I have no choice really, but it is not hard.

    Comment by Jenny on April 17, 2003 @ 6:06 pm
  5. Every parent has to make their own decisions when it comes to discipline. If a light pat on the butt helps, I think that’s fine.

    Comment by dan on April 17, 2003 @ 7:00 pm
  6. Spanking is wrong you can really hurt a child or even a teenager. All it does is hurt someone or teach the child that it is ok to go something kike that.

    Comment by Brittany on January 13, 2004 @ 10:40 am
  7. I was spanked and I’m not entirely psycho.

    Comment by Cameron on January 13, 2004 @ 1:56 pm
  8. Cameron, “Not entirely psycho.” Heh. Let me know when you’re feeling somewhat psycho; I’ll make sure I’m not around you when it happens. ;)

    I was also spanked as a child. When I was spanked it did not teach me that violence was OK. It taught me that what I did was really wrong and that I shouldn’t do it again unless I wanted another spanking. Do I think it’s right for parents to spank thier kids? It depends on the situation (IE the parents, the kid, and what was done to warrant the discipline).

    Comment by Jan on January 14, 2004 @ 5:33 am
  9. I also was spanked (though rarely) as a child. It was never hard enough to physically hurt, but I didn’t like it and I know it put a bit of fear of disobedience in me. We’ve all got different forces motivating us, and sometimes a little fear of punishment helps out while we’re developing other reasons to behave. I’m sure spanking is easily abused, but I don’t think it’s inherently bad.

    Comment by Levi on January 14, 2004 @ 9:32 am
  10. what was the common feature of Hitler, Charles Manson and Saddam Hussein??

    each were severely, relentlessly physically punished as a child

    Comment by Sarah on February 3, 2004 @ 11:05 am
  11. They both had two eyes too! And they all had mothers! Horror of horrors, we must now kill everyone with two eyes who has a mother. They’re all going to be mass-murderers!

    (Please note the sarcasm. I’m in a cynical mood).

    Comment by dan on February 3, 2004 @ 11:13 am
  12. my sister loves and cares her children very much. In a word her world is made of her children only. But while teaching and in their study time/home work she often smak them. ofcourse she hugs them immediately and talks to them expalining why she had smaked. At the days end she promises to herself, that would be the last smak but again in few days ske smaks and so on…. I have never seen such a devoted mother but is it ok what she does? if not what she could do to control herself?

    Comment by santa das on August 18, 2004 @ 8:34 pm
  13. I’m no expert, but it doesn’t sound like there’s a big problem. She’s disciplining her children, and explaining what they did wrong and hugging them seems like an excellent way of showing she loves them.

    Comment by dan on August 18, 2004 @ 10:32 pm
  14. My son is 3 years old and my best friend’s is 2 and a half. She doesn’t believe in spanking while I do. My kids get occasionally spanked but never twice for the same reason. Her kid is just evil and wild. She basically lets him do everything, no limits and no discipline. She is my best friend and I love her to death, but on some issues we just can’t find an agreement and sooner or later we’ll end up arguing on who is doing the right thing.

    Comment by Jessica on September 9, 2005 @ 5:13 am

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