Books never written

 

We used to think these up in third grade and the great thing about them is that I still think they're funny now.


1. The Yellow River by I.P. Daily

2. The Numbers Game by Cal Q. Later

3. Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts

4. Rusty Bed Springs by I.P. Freeley

5. Twenty Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Makit, illustrated by Betty Wont and published by Andy Dint

6. Spots on the Wall by Hugh Flung Poo

7. Falling Off a Cliff by Eileen Dover

8. The Complete Proctologist's Handbook by Ben Dover

9. The Joys of Drinking by Al Coholic

10. My Life with Igor by Frank N. Stein

11. Supporting Athletes by Jacques Strappe

12. Things That Itch by Mike Rotch

13. I Was Prepared by Justin Case

14. Small Treasures in the Toilet Bowl by I.P. Nickels

15. What Makes a Good Thief by Ian Yerhous

16. Waiting in Line for the Bathroom by Ivana Tinkle

17. Practical proctology by Bea Hind

18. The future of robotics by Cy Borg and Anne Droid

19. What to do if you're in a car accident by Rhea Ender

20. How Things Work by Wyatt Dunne

21. Breathing Lessons by Hal E. Tosis

22. Why Should I Walk? by Iona Carr

23. Deep in Debt by Owen A. Lott

24. The Most and the Least by Maxi & Minnie Mum

25. How to Get Good Grades by B.A. Wiseman

26. The Sun by Sol Ar

27. Blazing! by Lotta Heat

28. Computer Memory by Meg A. Byte

29. Gotta Go by C. U. Leiter

30. Can't Go There by Hans Off

31. Card Suits by Di A. Mond

32. Checking Your Homework by R.U. Wright

33. The Membership List by Ross Terr

34. Manwich by "Slop" E. Joe

35. The Giant Clock Tower by Big Ben

36. All About Flowers by Chris Anthymum

37. Short Shorts by Daisy Duke

38. Boy Scout Brigade by Pat Troll

39. The Lost Scout by Werram Eye

40. Late for Work by Dr. Wages

41. Kitty's Revenge by Claude Balls

42. Brown Streaks Across the Desert by Who Flung Dung

43. Ten Years in the Bathtub by Rink Lee Prune

44. Antlers in the Tree Top by Hugh Goostamooce

45. Tiger in the Bathroom by Heidi Ingthe Tub

46. How to Eat Cereal by Poor A. Bowl

47. Smelly Stuff by Anita Bath

48. Being Lonely by Shenita Mann.

49. Technology in the 21st century by Rob Ott

50. A Hitchiker's Guide To Not Getting Killed by Ren Tacar

51. Gotta Go To The Bathroom by Think L. Maket, Illustrated by Betty Went, Published by Doris Laukt

52. Blue Darts by Hugh Gexplo Zhun

53. Bubbles in the Bath by Ivor Windybottom

54. Can't Sit Still by Ivan Auflitch

55. Microsoft Business Practices by Eve Hill

56. I Must Go Again by D. I. Aria

57. Interesting Places Around The World by Ben There & Don That

58. Paris Monuments by I. Phil Taurer

59. Text Editing by E. Max and Vi

60. The Bearded Chinaman by Harry Chin

61. How to Exercise by Eileen and Ben Dover

62. 100 Ways to Diet by I. M. Hungry

63. Getting Fired by Anita Job

64. Crossing a Man with a Duck by Willie Waddle

65. A Sailor's Adventure by Ron A. Ground

66. Green Vegetables by Brock Ali

67. Never Shave Again by Harry Pitts

68. Long Walk Home by Miss. D. Bus

69. Sitting on the Beach by Sandy Baum

70. Window Coverings by Kurt and Rod

71. Wheels in China by Rick Shaw

72. How To Dance by Sheik Yerbouti

73. Something Smells by I. Ben Pharting

74. I.Q. Competitions by Samar T. Pants

75. The Secret of Touching Your Toes by Ben Dover

76. The View of the Skyline by Bill Ding

77. My Life as a Gas Station Attendant by Phil R. Awp

78. What Evita Left Behind by Oliver Shoes

79. Your Private Life Makes National News by Holly Wood

80. Hot Wiring by Nick Carrs & Joy Ryder

81. Easy Money by Robyn Banks

82. The Sedan Chair by Carrie Walker

83. The Science of Optometry by Seymour Clearly

84. The last supper by M. T. Potts.

85. How to Destroy Buildings by Dyna Might

86. Transportation in the Middle Ages by Orson Cart

87. Growing up in the Balkans by Hugo Slavia

88. The Outboard Motor Died by Rhoda Shaw

89. Answering the Questions of the Universe by Howard I. Know

90. How to Write a Mystery Novel by Paige Turner

91. The Great English Breakfast by Chris P. Bacon

92. Vacation Spots in the Tropics by Sandy Beech

93. What Old Cars Have by Rust E. Paint

94. Torn Fingernails by I. Bightem

95. The Great Missile Barrage, by Lonch M. Awl

96. Tight Situation by Leah Tard

97. Crack in the Sidewalk by Bobby Tript

98. The Old Bell Tower by Rusty Bell

99. Meeting in France by Ron DeVous

100. A Trip to the Dentist by Lord Howard Hurts

101. Dentist Appointment by Too Thurtee

102. So Thirsty by Phillip A. Jug

103. Carnival Rides by Ivana Herl

104. Swimming in the Ocean by C. Lyons

105. Walking Tall by G. Raffe

106. Never Forget by L. E. Phunt

107. Uninteresting Tales by I. M. Yawning

108. All About Fences by Barb Dwyer

109. In the Men's Room by R. U. Dunn

110. Big Waves by Sue Nami

111. Out the Window by Hugo Furst

112. Yellow Spots on the Rug by G.I.P.

113. Knocked in the Head by I. C. Starrs

114. Yellow Sky by Pierre

115. The First Thanksgiving by Ima Pilgrim

116. Where's Grandma's Purse by Robin Nana

117. I'm Not Sober by Ivan Drinkon

118. Saving Peaches by Mason Jar

119. Looking Out Windows by Seymour Treese

120. Full Bladder by Betty Wiz

121. Lullaby by Sarah Nade

122. Where's My Stuff by I. Ben Robbed

123. Falling Down by Ima Drunk

124. Working With Plumbers by Seymour Crack

125. Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Kamel

126. I Wrote a Book by Talmee Moar

127. Talking to Dentists by Phil McCavity

128. Car Rental by Naomo R. Woking

129. Not Going To Do It by Ida Wanna

130. Complete Guide to Prenatal Care by I. M. Leight

131. I Know What You're Thinking by Clair Voyant

132. Over the Cliff by Hugo Furst

133. Overpopulation in Hawaii by Kimona Wanalaya

134. Relive Aunt Edna's Oriential Cooking by Chu Sum Pu

135. Making Jugs by Clay Potter

136. The Bartender's Manual by Phyllis Glass

137. How To Be a Butler by Ansel Theodore

Have more? Send them in.

Updated Aug 09, 2018