So what’s this about “Talk softly when a friend is visiting” followed by a condescending, “You have friends and they don’t”? The generally accepted advice is to keep the noise down, regardless. Here’s a better rule:

If the conversation involves more than two persons, take it to a conference area. Otherwise, keep it down.

People don’t seem to realize how much of an irritant noise is. I know a worker who insists that the tapes he brings in need to be heard by everyone, with the volume turned up on the office radio. Forget “library voice”…he doesn’t even have an “indoor voice”. If people would treat noise in offices as they do smoking, we might not even need lists of office etiquette.

Which is why I so often find myself threatening, or physically abusing people that work near me. I am Jack’s catlike instincts, and I don’t like people touching me, so stay out of my cube and keep your hands to yourself. I am also Jack’s sense of digust as the politcal agenda of a group of yuppies who still think ownership is the road to success, and that George W. Bush is “a good guy”.

Thank goodness for drugs, man. Without them I wouldn’t be able to function at the same level as these cretins. Nonetheless, it’s only a temporary fix.

My advice to people considering any occupation that puts you in a cube is to ask yourself if you don’t mind dressing up like a republican poster-child, talking to and working with people whom you hate more than leprosy, being treated as a number by HR, and micromanaged by a person who has zero experience in your field of business, much less the IQ god gave a gnat.

Ask yourselves these things and if you still think like in an 6′ by 6′ particle board maze is to your liking, then you’re insane. Go check into your local asylum.

The only people who work these jobs are greedy, agenda of selfishness a-holes.

I only do it because Project Mayhem requires it.

Anyone have a b-b gun?